Here I Am.

     Okay so I've been wanting to start a blog for a while now.  I want a space where i can feel free to voice my thoughts, my opinions..  I want to have a place where I can reach out to others while staying true to myself.  I would prefer to treat this as a sort of diary that just so happens to be open for anyone to read whenever lol.
      Me.  Where to begin..  Well my name is Amanda, but everyone calls me Manda.  I am 26 years old, and married to a wonderful man named Paul.  We have 3 perfect children.  By perfect, I mean perfect to me.  To others they are probably a bit too loud, in need of better manners, but always very, very cute ♥  I grew up in southern California.  Since meeting my Paul, we moved to northern California for a while, and are now living in Oregon.  Quite different from the almost always sunny Cali, but I do enjoy our quaint, sleepy, little town.  I was raised as a protestant, with weekly bible studies at my grandmothers home - EVERY Friday night lol.  A pretty happy, slightly chubby child.  I have three sisters.  One step (Leanna - whom I grew up with.)  One half (my mother gave birth to Sasha when I was 18.)  AND!  My beautiful, born with a great tan - nicknamed Brown by ME - sister (Brit - blood related to my step, but tied to me by love.) They are beautiful, strong, courageous, and inspiring women that I look up to everyday.   I feel incredibly blessed in the family department.   I am also super close with my dad, and am so thankful for him.  Since I am married, I also scored some insanely wonderful in-law sisters, brothers, cousins, and then some...  Basically I have a LOT of people to love.
     Religion.  A few years ago Paul (who grew up basically without any religion) and I converted to Catholicism!  Yes.  We are catholic.  I have always felt close to Jesus, but I have never quite felt like this..  I feel a stronger connection to Mary too.  I'm sure it's because of my being a mother.  She's such a beautiful, shining example..  makes me happy just thinking about her..  We are planning to home school our kiddos for the first few years.  It's very important for us to know that the right morals are instilled in them, and that they have a stronger sense of who they are before we send them out into the world.  A few years ago I got the best advice I've ever gotten.  A family member said to me that when God gives you a child, he gives them to you pure.  It's our job as a parent, to return them to God as pure as they were when you got them.  We believe that.  We want to make God proud.  He gave us these amazing babies, and we need to treat them like the precious gifts that they are.
       That's me.  Basically.  Well, the most condensed version I can conjure up for now.  So another reason that I am starting this whole thing up is that I want to change some things.  I need to work on myself, and I feel that having this outlet, this place where I can own up to everything will be a great motivator.  I am not the mother that I want to be.  I'm not a bad mother, but I'm still just not the mother I always pictured I would be.  I need to learn to cook for them, and be more patient.  I also want them to think about God more..  whenever they do pretty much anything.  It's hard to help children understand things about God.  I need to work at it.  Also, I need to work on myself.  I have seriously let myself go the last few years.  I vow to start taking care of myself again.  I am 26 now, and by 27 I plan on being a very different type of person.  So starting now, RIGHT NOW, I will try.  We only get so long here, and I want to make the most out of it..  with Paul..  with the kiddos..  This is gonna be good♥